The Haunting of Core Beliefs

It’s that time of year again, when the veil between worlds feels thin, shadows seem to whisper, and we’re reminded that not all ghosts come from the outside. Some live quietly within us, haunting our thoughts, shaping our choices, and whispering old stories we mistake for truth.

These “inner ghosts” are what therapists call core beliefs. They're deep-seated convictions about who we are, what we deserve, and how the world works. They’re formed early in life, often through the echoes of experience: a teacher’s tone, a parent’s sigh, a peer’s rejection. Over time, they solidify into silent rules we live by.

“I have to be perfect, or I’ll lose love.”
“If I’m not needed, I’m not enough.”
“No one really stays.”

The trouble is, these beliefs don’t just sit in the background but filter everything. Like a cursed mirror, they distort how we see ourselves and the world around us. When something good happens, perfectionism whispers, “You just got lucky.” When we make a mistake, anxiety cackles, “See? You’re not cut out for this.” And when things finally start to go well? Self-sabotage creeps in like a fog, convincing us to blow it all up before someone else does and to further confirm that what we believe about ourselves is true.

Our brains crave consistency even if that consistency hurts us. So we unconsciously look for evidence that keeps the story intact. If your core belief is, “I’m not good enough,” your mind will twist neutral feedback into criticism and filter out the praise. If your belief is, “People always leave,” you might test relationships until that prophecy fulfills itself.

It’s not that we’re broken; it's that our minds are loyal. We cling to what’s familiar, even when it’s painful.

But here’s the treat for this trick: awareness breaks the spell. When we can name the ghost (“Ah, there’s that ‘not enough’ ghost again”), we start to loosen its hold. We can pause before reacting, question what feels like fact, and begin rewriting the script.

So this Halloween season, take a moment to notice the ghosts that visit you—the whispers of “should,” “can’t,” and “not enough.” You don’t have to fight them or make them disappear. Just notice their presence, remember where they came from, and remind yourself that you no longer have to live by their stories.